It was a Tuesday night around 8:30 pm. My husband and I had just put our 3 kids to bed. We were either talking or watching a show – for that 1 hour of the day we actually have alone together, without any other obligations. So, I missed your phone call.
The next morning the kids woke us up around 6 am, I made breakfast and lunches, while my husband swam with, and then showered our kids. After feeding them, dressing them, dropping them off at daycare and then running to my 8:30 am meeting – I still hadn’t listened to your voicemail. Also, I had not checked my email – so there was no way I could have read your email.
In the middle of my meeting, you called and texted again – yet, I was in a meeting and did not see either.
When I was done with my meeting around 10:45 am, I finally looked at my phone – I saw your not-so-pleased text, and noticed that voicemail you left was from the previous evening at 8:30 pm.
14 hours. 14 hours I was busy with life and that was too long for you.
We had the appointment set 2 weeks before and you wanted to reschedule. You called the night before the appointment at 8:30 pm. When I called you back around 11 am the next day – you were pissed off.
Is this you?
Could this person have been me in the past? For sure. Do we need to stop expecting immediate responses or was I being neglectful?
After nearly 5 years in business for myself, there is absolutely no one I expect immediate responses from. There are a few businesses that offer support for products they sell and I expect, at a minimum, 24-hour response time – but those are businesses that have support teams.
Look people, we need to stop all this nonsense.
Just because I have a cell phone does not mean I have it next to me 24 hours a day. I do not wake up and immediately check my email. And I definitely do not respond to phone calls and text messages from clients after 8 pm – unless there is a true emergency, which has happened twice in those 5 years.
I’d like to state for the record that I am not advocating for long response times. I am, however, advocating for realistic response times from people you know are 1-person shops.
So, what are realistic response times and realistic cancellation/rescheduling times?
1. If you need to cancel/reschedule an appointment, always give at least 24 hours notice.
I learned this lesson before I had my own business. I had bi-weekly meetings with my therapist and if I didn’t cancel 24 hours in advance, I was charged for the session. Now, as with everything in life, this is not a black-and-white rule. Emergencies and exceptions DO happen.
2. If you email/call/text a solo business owner, give the person at least 48 hours before you get irritated.
If everything feels like an emergency, you will always be freaking out about something. I tend to agree with Tim Ferriss’ outlook on this: there are very, very few true emergencies or things that need to be dealt with right away. Readjust your expectations. I promise you’ll immediately feel better about other people.
3. If you ask a long, convoluted question in your email/text/voicemail, double the expected response time.
Sometimes I get these emails and I don’t even have the time to read them, let alone type paragraphs to reply. If you can’t be responded to in 5 minutes or less, you should probably schedule a time to talk. No solo business owner has the time to answer your 10 theoretical questions via email.
Hey, we all like to feel in control.
And we have no control over when someone will respond – and that makes us feel really uncomfortable. And really, that’s just fine.
Feel that “uncomfortableness” and move on to whatever it is you really need to be doing.
If you’re still in need of some help with this, listen to Louis CK talk about having patience with cell phones.
Louis C.K.: Hilarious
Get More: Watch More Stand-Up.
Amen! Because we office out of our home, and some people know this, we are “expected” to answer the phone 24/7 and answer their questions, etc., because “it’s just me, and I just have a quick question” (which usually turns into a half hour conversation, at a minimum. Sometimes, they’ll even just show up at our door at inappropriate times. It’s very rude, and it furthers the theory that our society, as a whole, has become very narcissistic. “If I needed it tomorrow, I’d call you tomorrow,” right?
Totally, Barbi – and I’ve even heard from my non-self-employed friends that their doing a lot of business – phone calls, emails and texts during non business hours. We all need to remember not everything is urgent!
Couldn’t agree more Rachel! Texts are the worst for me – I just don’t think they should happen in a client relationship yet they still do, and never at times when texts are ever need (to your emergency point). I often have a long turn around time too, but at least try to say “Hi, I saw your email but will need a bit more time to get back to you!” I always aim to do that within 24 hours if I just can’t get to responding and try to actually respond intelligently within 48. I find lately that emails aren’t just emails, there’s a lot I have to do/look up/check before I can write back.
All so totally reasonable, Quinn! I do the “Hi, I saw your email…” too – but I find I tend to let something fall through the cracks if I do, so I try to wait until I have an answer before I respond. And I completely understand the text point – if I don’t really know someone, I don’t text them. If I have a long-standing relationship with a client, then I’m cool with them texting — especially because I know I do not need to immediately respond. But when it’s someone I don’t know well – it feels invasive.
What’s with all the impatience?? It’s almost like the things that are really vital for our health (hello? anyone?), like relationships with our families & needed downtime, are trivialized and minor, momentary impulses become the end of the world. Good heavens, maybe our society needs a good douse “check your ‘it’s all about me’ at the door”!
I do give some clients permission to contact me but still let them know I’ll respond when I can and provide a way to contact me if it’s an emergency.
We all definitely need to have more patience and connect to more of what’s truly important.
Good boundaries are required for life.
For sure!
About a year ago I decided to set some boundaries. My work cell phone is turned off at 7pm and doesn’t go back until 7:30 the next morning. I try to deal with my email once or twice daily and text messages are assigned priority which means I always, always answer my 8 year old grand daughter. For me it is a matter of how much I value myself and my own self esteem.
Yes, John! I think everyone has to set boundaries like that now – it used to be common courtesy, but it seems common courtesy has been sacrificed for “I need it now”! And you’re so right – it’s totally about how people feel about themselves.
The immediate gratification thing really has gotten out of control! I got a 2nd phone so that I wouldn’t have to even see the work messages and feel obligated to respond before/after a certain time of the day or on Sundays. Just that simple act has freed me from being the Yes! Man I was born to be 🙂
LOVE the 2nd phone idea – I may need to do that soon too.