Do you ever think to yourself…
- “Once I accomplish this, I’ll be so happy.”
- “Once I have this many clients, my business will be great!”
- “Once I get through this shit storm my life will be better.”
- “Once I can afford that, I’ll finally be able to relax.”
Or maybe your the comparison type, you look at people’s Facebook pages and you think:
- “If I just had a relationship and maybe a couple kids…”
- “If only my life was so perfect and awesome and fun and…”
Maybe you think these things, maybe you don’t. Maybe you’ve even read some blog posts about how being a successful and having an awesome-looking life is so hard. Hard because there are higher standards to live up to, hard because everything gets more complex, taxes get higher, blah, blah, blah.
My life and business has been more challenging than ever these past few months. And I often find myself unconsciously scrolling through people’s Facebook profiles, websites and blogs and thinking about how awesome their lives and businesses must be. But check this out, even though I’ve been the most challenged, I’ve had some the best events of my career happen to me:
- A site I recently finished is showcased on the StudioPress Showcase. (Which is a BIG deal and means more traffic to my site). (Look for Coach Jim Parker) Link to just it’s direct listing can be found here.
- I was quoted in an article and it’s also driving traffic to my site. (Thank you, HARO)
- I am getting steady, strong leads for new clients.
These things are really good.
And getting that site is the showcase is one thing I thought once I’d accomplished, I’d be happy.
I thought it would mean I was finally successful – and that my work would be somehow validated.
And it seems everywhere I turn online I end up somewhere where someone is talking about how we allude ourselves into believing that one day life will be better, we’ll be more happy, we’ll achieve something that will make the pain of our daily struggles disappear – but that day never comes. Like a quote, a video…
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. – Plato
From the video: “We manage to never really connect present moment and find fulfillment there, because we are continually hoping to become happy in the future. And the future never arrives.”
And so, I now have a larger perspective.
Once we achieve the things we think will make us happy in our business, we’re probably not happy – because we’re concerned about hitting the next benchmark. And perhaps more honestly, because those achievements did not eliminate struggle and pain from our lives.
We tend to think of happiness is the elimination of pain and success the elimination of struggle.
But they are not. They are in addition to. So we must make room for the good things. We must actively let them in. We must celebrate them when they happen.
To feel happier and more successful in our businesses and our lives, we must not focus on what we think will make us happy and successful and we must stop, look around, and feeling happy and successful in that moment.
Even if it is only a moment.