There’s something I have to confess.
Something I feel ashamed of… sometimes things slip through the cracks.
- Like that email I half wrote and forgot to send.
- That person I didn’t follow up with.
- That person I said I’d send some resources to and I totally spaced.
- That deadline I missed, 3 times.
- Renewing the tags on the car.
- My son’s best friend’s Birthday party I missed RSVPing for.
If there’s one thing I actually know about life, it’s that being a business owner means having a more than full plate.
Recently, I forgot an important networking event – an event I was supposed to be running. Did I feel guilty? Yes. Did I feel ashamed? Yes. Yes and yes.
While I have learned to show a calm and cool exterior to the world, on the inside I’m usually anxious and afraid. Scared I’ll say the wrong thing, do something wrong, hurt someone’s feelings, get my feelings hurt…
And it all carries over into my business.
As much as I don’t want business to be personal, it is. As much as I want to present as perfect and in control, I’m usually not.
What’s the answer to all this messiness?
Beats me.
But, I have found 2 things that seriously help when I feel like I’ve screwed up:
1. Other people.
Taking solace in other people experiencing the same things and when they are vulnerable enough to share when they’re not perfect.
So I write this, in the hopes that I can offer you a bit of peace of mind today. We all make mistakes. We all do things we not proud of, things we feel ashamed of and have things we wish we’d handled differently.
2. Accepting + forgiving.
There’s this thing I learned a little over a year ago called Ho’oponopono. I was taught to use it as a mantra (“I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you.”) to just make things “right” with myself. I share it here with you, because we can always choose to make things “right” with ourselves.
This also reminds me of Yoga and the belief that everything is practice. Somehow, remembering that everything is kind of “practice” alleviates so much pressure about being perfect and in control.
And that’s it, kids. How about you?
Any thing you do to get through those moments when you want to hit your head against something hard over and over?
Hey Rachel
Oh dear – thank you for opening up to us!
I have encountered several such moments. I don’t think the shame or guilt ever fades though, which is okay because they serve as good reminders to not repeat the same mistakes.
And even if you do err more than once – like I have a countless times – it’s okay. Forgive yourself and apologize to the ones you have ‘hurt’, even unintentionally.
That being said, my mind is a cesspool of negativity towards myself and others. I live with shame and anger and sorrow every second. But I refuse to bow down to or get overpowered by ugly emotions. I need to believe in the purity of my soul, forgive myself and aim to do better the next time.
Thank you for your honesty #HUGSSS
Kitto
Thanks for your constant encouragement, Kitto! I call that cesspool “Monkey Mind” – something from a book I read log ago… it’s helps me to remember that negative thoughts are not who I am, they are just thoughts. ((hugs)) back!